Fire
by Leighton Darko
Summary: akuroku ; It's only what you deserve, Axel, after what you did to me.


Umm... there is no excuse for this. Sorry if you're squeamish, but it's not too bad -- then again, look who's talking.

**Title **Fire  
**Summary** akuroku ; _It's only what you deserve, Axel, after what you did to me_.  
**Rating** M  
**Warning(s)** Gross shit.  
**Disclaimer** Not mine.

**:-:-:-:-:**

Roxas died once in a fire, and he did it again, only this time there's nothing left of him -- no fragments for Axel to pick up and piece together, just ashes and ashes scattered all over, melted flesh on bone, charred bits of what used to be organs. The images batter Axel's skull and crack it, forcing their way into his mind's eye, and he clutches his head in agony, screaming, crying, pleading for it to end, for Roxas to come back to him, but he can't -- he won't -- he's never coming back. He made sure of that -- _you killed me, Axel, and I hope what's left of me lets you know it._

Roxas's engagement ring resides just next to Axel's own nearly-identical one on the same skeletal finger Roxas once had his on. The ring, Roxas had made sure that it was safe before he burned himself alive -- tucked right on top of the note, right by Axel's name _dear Axel this is what you could have had but you fucked up big time_ and completely untarnished by the fire Roxas set _look what's left of me now, Axel_.

And Axel clutches at his head again and convulses, vomiting, because he is so sick in his head that he has literally forcibly driven himself to sickness to maybe cure some of the horror, the pain, but no, you can't cure something like this. You can't pop magic pills and Roxas won't come back _and it's all your fault that I'm gone, Axel, if you wouldn't have_ and _you'll live with this so long as you breathe, Axel, 'cause you've been dead to me for a long time_ Axel just cannot take this. Roxas is -- he's everything, he was everything, he is everything, he will always be everything, but Axel, you had every idea what you were doing when you did it, and as far as everyone's concerned, you're the reason Roxas is dead now.

"Roxas, please look at me, please. Please." His eyes are closed though, those gorgeous blue eyes squeezed tight and secure, trying to make it all end -- "please, please, please, please."

"You're not right in the head, Axel," he says, chokes out, gasps, because Axel's hands are clutched at his neck and shoulders, maybe trying to tether himself to something tangible so he can't be lost from the world completely. "You--- you need help. Axel. Please. Let go of me."

"N-no, Rox, baby, please -- just look at me." And they open; it's those same fucking eyes, those baby blues that are so intense that Axel could just _drown, I hope you fucking drown and choke on glass and sip cyanide cocktails_ **(get lost)** in them like so many times before, but this isn't Roxas. Roxas's eyes wouldn't be shining with tears and swimming with so many lostconfusedhurtscared emotions. Roxas's hair is blond and coarse, not brunet and glossy; Roxas had a scar on his nose and he, this... this isn't... "Roxas?"

"Axel. Please let me go, I don't know what you're doing, but I--- I really need to go home, please." This is _Sora,_ the just-older twin brother who had somehow held nothing against him for killing his family; Sora, whose voice was nothing like Roxas's, who looked almost identical to him in so many ways to so many people, but Axel -- they're different -- but -- his _eyes,_ Sora's _eyes_ were the exact same as Roxas's, the mirror image of him but...

Axel makes a pitiful strangled whimper that dies in his throat, almost vomits again, tears falling from his eyes at a faster rate now, his mouth dry. "R..Roxas? You -- you're... here..."

"A-Axel, no, what are you... what are you talking about?" Those eyes, Roxas's eyes, they blink out tears in confusion and fright, and Axel doubles over, arms wrapped around his stomach, almost like he's afraid his intestines will fall out _it's only what you deserve, Axel, after what you did to me_. His head hurts, his throat hurts, his heart hurts, he hurts all over, and it hurts to speak, to ask Roxas to forgive him, please, please, please forgive him, he never meant it, he didn't mean to do it; Roxas's eyes are closed again though, and Axel _Axel_ can't _I can't_ stand it _take this_ **any longer**.

So he clutches at his head again, nails biting into his scalp like he can tear out the part of his mind that's destroying him _like you destroyed me_; he can taste blood in his mouth _you left me broken and bleeding_, tears streaming down his face _do you know how much you hurt me, how badly you hurt me, how irrevocably you fucking hurt me_, feeling like this is the end, because it is.

Sora can't feel any pain, not compared to the suffocating pain Axel feels; Sora screams, sobs, but he can't cry anything but rivulets of blood, because Axel has dug his fingers into Sora's eye sockets and well-up gouged his eyes out, torn them straight from his head. Those eyes, Roxas's eyes, Axel has them now, and Roxas is never going to be away from him again, because Axel sobs and cries as he eats them, gulps down those fucking baby blues and collapses atop Sora, heaving and trembling uncontrollably.

Roxas cannot leave him, and Axel's dead anyway, or going to be once Riku gets hold of him after Axel's gone and mutilated Sora beyond repair _just like you did to me, Axel, just like you fucked me over beyond repair_. He's shaking, he's crying, he's beyond the minimal grips he had, and he would incinerate himself too if it meant he could be with Roxas, but he can't, because he's already dug his fingers into his stomach, driven by something inhuman as his nails force their way through his own insides, tearing out his intestines, clawing at his ribcage; a burble of blood bubbles at the corners of his mouth as he coughs, chokes, all but drowns in his own blood, his organs spread all over, blood saturating everything and---

Axel's gone.

For what it's worth, even though Sora can't see a damn thing, with his eyes safely tucked away in Axel's body, he doesn't need eyes to hear Axel's death rattle and see him in his mind as he kills himself, the gasping, the almost incoherent "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry please forgive me Roxas please please I'm so sorry please" on his final breath before he shudders, convulses, dies.

_Dear Roxas,_ Sora says in his head, like he's done so many times before, _things aren't the same without you here..._

**:-:-:-:-:**

I justrealized I might have a tendency of doing horrible shit to Sora in what I write. It's not intentional. And also I swear I can write not-fucked-up Akuroku, I just... haven't gotten around to it, haha. Um, also... I have an idea of what Axel did to set this all off, but I totally want everyone to come to their own conclusions... it's more fun that way. :)I'd love to hear what you think if you want to share.


End file.
